The Spectacle That is Made of Marriage!

Hello everyone.  This is one of the topics that I am most passionate about. 


Why do some people go into marriage with an escape clause. Why do you even say in your vows until death do us part if you really don’t mean to. Why do you get married in a church and before the Lord if you really don’t want to live by his standards. What is irreconcilable differences? I don’t see that any where in the Bible.


You are suppose to exhaust every option before you get a divorce unless there is physical abuse or continued cheating and even in the cheating God can always restore that person. In this day an age people don’t take marriage seriously. It’s just a joke or something to do for the moment until the next best thing comes along. Some people just want the wedding day and not the marriage.

The statistics say that 80 percent of Americans are Christian. If that’s so then why is it that the divorce rate is higher in the church than the world. God did not intend for us to get a divorce. Don’t you know that if you divorce for any other reason other than adultery and you go and marry someone else you are considered an adulterer. No one is teaching the truth these days and in the Bible it says its better not to make a vow than to make a vow and break it. These days people cant stay married for 25 seconds. Let alone 50 years like our ancestors use to.

The Bible says you should not be unequally yoked. People think if we get married than I can change him or her wrong. I am a big advocate for marriage counseling. If people would just take the time to get some good Godly marriage counseling before you jump into the union you will find out who that person really is in that counseling thus avoiding a lot of these divorces. You may be able to fool a person but you cant fool God.  Sooner of later the covers will come off you cant fake it for long.

I am appalled at the spectacle that people are making of marriage.   It seems like a joke.  People are getting married for all the wrong reasons.  Why go through all the trouble.  What type of example are we setting for our future generations. And on another note if you are going into a marriage and asking me to sign a prenup that means you don't plan on staying married to me for long what I call another ex scape clause.  Thats should definitely be a red flag right there. Unless you are that person who is only going in to it for the money!   What ever happened to marriage for Love not Lust or your feelings because feelings are fickle and always subject to change. 

Work Place Friends!

We all spend the majority of our days at work.  During this time it is common for us to meet and interact with people.   So what do you do when your spouse of partner starts to interact or be friends with a person of the opposite sex.  It could be a boss, supervisor, or just fellow line man. Now I know this is unheard of these days, trust is out the window you can't trust anybody and no by no means necessary can you have friends of the opposite sex. Right or wrong?

I find this this to be a very interesting and touchy topic.   Its pretty much to each its own.  I have happened to be on both sides of this over the course of my life time.  I have been the one to have the friends, I have had my mates obtain friends and cheat etc etc but do you let one instance dictate how you operate and basically shape and mold the rest of your life. Do you want to spend you days obsessing?

My feeling is Trust is one of the single most important things in any relationship.  If you are at work of course you have to interact with people, you get to know them there families, whats makes them tick, what they eat and all.    I think its unrealistic for there to not be any interaction with the opposite sex. You have to work with them. This all boils down to how much do you trust your mate, spouse, partner.  If someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat.  Be it with the person at their job or the one walking down the street.  Do you look at everyone cross eyed and as a cheater?  Do you let this consume you?  I am not saying be naive or just let anything fly and stand by and watch things happen either.

I guess this all boils down to again is trusting people.   I have some really good friends that are my friends now from my husbands work place.  He meets them and say hey you need to meet or talk to my wife or I just happen to come for a visit and we wind up in a conversation.  Why hide stuff because in darkness and secrecy is where things happen, manifest and become dangerous.   And some things happen in the light right in front of us as well.

We all know our boundaries that we should and should not cross.   Some people go after others even if they are taken for the thrill or what ever.  But can we really stop the interaction between opposite sexes at work?  NO!  No matter how hard you try. What do you we do then? Do we forbid interaction with one another or take on a non caring attitude with people and only concerned about ourselves?  I mean we are human we live on human interaction its going to happen I guess if we like it or not. We dictate how we interact with one another and how far any relationship can go. 

In Your Skin

How comfortable are you in your own skin. Like most women we have had children, multiple pregnancies, getting older in age, have a hectic schedule and take care of everybody else except for ourselves. It seems like there are not enough hours in the day to try and eat right, exercise and take care of business.

We all know that we need to take time out for ourselves, have a healthy diet and eat right. So why is it such a struggle. Before we know it we look at ourselves in the mirror and are uncomfortable with what we see. If I could just change this or change that is what we say to ourselves. We have the baby weight that just wouldn't go away. We try and exercise and within two weeks we are tired of it and drop off and year after year we make our news years resolutions and say this year I'm going lose it and be healthy.

So what will it take for us to get healthy. Myself like most have tried and failed and tried and failed and tried again and get so frustrated I just quit when I don't see microwave instant results.   I watch all the doctor shows and try to implement the foods they say and the vitamins and the workouts and the everything and it seems like life just gets in the way.   I like some women am an emotional eater.  I just love food.  I have a food background and a culinary arts degree so I am just consumed by food.   I eat when I'm stressed, I eat when I'm nervous and I eat when I'm bored and some of us out there can relate.  Some of us use other things in place of food to deal with all of these issues.

So I ask myself and  you, How comfortable are you in your own skin.  Are you scared to get on the scale or look at yourself in the mirror, take our clothes off around our mates or not take pictures because you dislike the way you look or maybe you have a ton of confidence and this does not pertain to you but how healthy are we really.  This is not meant to make any one feel worse then they already do or beat them up because I have been on both ends.  Healthy and at the right weight and people still said I was fat and over weight and know I'm overweight and just upset with myself.  

We have to take back the control that your flesh has over us.  We have to push beyond the tiredness, the frustration and the mental games that we play within our own minds.  We have to empower our own selves because our families depend on us.  How can we take care of our families if we are not around or sick because of the poor choices we have made.  I know its not easy, I deal with it everyday.  Balancing this that and the other and getting pulled in all different kinds of directions.   But I have to make the right choices for myself because my children are looking and you as the parent control what they eat.   I know a lot of us are on the go all the time and the best thing to do is to grab take out.  Good thing is now a days even the fast food places are having healthier alternatives.

We have to start out small because we did not get to the point we are overnight.   We have to take it one step at a time and one day at a time.  We have to set goals for ourselves.  Find a buddy so there will be some accountability.  Make a plan.  I once heard failing to plan is planning to fail. We have to start to chart out every day.  Family, alone time, meditation an prayer, exercise our businesses etc.   We have to make it all work and when we start to follow that plan we see that we can fit a lot more in our days and get a lot more done.  Write it down, put it on the fridge or on the mirror.  Remind yourself daily that you can do this.  We invest a lot at times on our outer appearance an neglect out inner appearance.  Spiritually and physically. We are starting to break own.  We beat ourselves up or just forget about ourselves all together. 

So go get your life back literally.  Take it one day and one step at a time.  The Word of God says we are fearfully an wonderfully made.  We are a royal priesthood.  So get comfortable in your own skin again.   You are beautiful and never let any one tell you different.



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Get Out Of The Box!

One of the main reasons why we do not get out of our boxes is because of FEAR. The fear of failure practically dictates to us what we will and will not do. Fear keeps us at times from being all that we can be and trying new things. There is so much that God has equipped us with but we fail to do them and thus staying in our comfort zone in our own little boxes. Fear defined is a verb meaning to be afraid or apprehensive. Now I know we all are apprehensive about some things. Some times that is good and a lot of times that keeps us for going out and challenging ourselves and being the best that we can be. Why are you afraid to try new things? Have you failed at something before, have the wrong mindset and telling yourself you can't do it, have people around you telling you you can't do it. There are a number of things. Now I have met some really nice mommy bloggers and gotten to know some really nice people and gotten a lot of tips from a lot of mommy bloggers out there who have gotten out of their boxes and are making a difference. Be it in reviewing, giving info about having babies, or any number of things. They are not saying starting out has been an easy ride but they stuck with it and the outcome has been great. I can tell you starting your own business or trying something new will definitely get you out of your box and having you try different things you never thought you could do like approach strangers and just strike up general conversation. I was so in my own world at one point and now since I have been home with my children for 2 years I appreciate the the time I get to spend with them and the time I get to go out and meet mommies that are just like myself. I can tell you why I was so afraid. FAILURE. It is real. This has kept me from doing so many different things. I have let years go by saying I can't do that and knowing I had a purpose and wondering what that was. The American dream has been dictated saying go to school, get an education, get a job, by a house, have a few kids and that's it. Well what about the in between like do something you love even though it might not pay you the big bucks or how about working for yourself if you are going to work 10 to 15 hours a day. These days and ages not even the government is secure. Look at the possible closures. Another thing that almost had me quit was the people around me. The people closet to you like family and friends your inner circle who you think should support you and don't. Now this is not always the case and some people have support and are supportive but I have found for myself that the people who don't even know you are the ones that support you the most. I have learned to not let things affect me so deeply any more and keep on pressing. Some people subconsciously want you to fail, or consciously at times want you to fail because you are out pursuing your goals and that was something that they never did. Don't let those people keep you down. Even when it looks impossible it is very much possible. So I say to you what is it that you have been wanting to do. Write a book, start a business, go back to school, learn a foreign language, Go for it. Get out of your box because you have so much to offer. Use the small setbacks and the negativity to keep you going. STOP BY AND VISIT MY WEBSITE: www.5linx.net/TuckerTeam

You be the Judge!

I think that two of my greatest accomplishments are being a mother and a wife. I have learned a lot in the past three years of being a mother. Although I have not been a mom long having kids has taught me so much. I'm sure you all can relate it's nothing we would not do for our children. So over the last few years I have wondered this, do we over compensate for our children or is it just making sure that your children have the best of everything?

Now As I look back over my child hood, I can't and won't complain. I think that my parents did the best that they could with that they had. So what we perceive to had had or the lack of do we make up for when raising our children. I see a lot of parents just spend and spend and spend on there kids and some do it to make up for the lack of parenting, others do it because they are reliving there lives through there children and some just can't say no.

I know these days and times we are living in are so very different from when we were growing up. Now a days its like kids have a sense of entitlement like you owe them something. Now I am a firm believer if your child is doing well they should reap the benefits and be rewarded but I do not agree in rewarding wrong behavior. So I ask myself because I am guilty of just over doing it for my children at times as well even though they are little, is it being a good parent, or over compensating for things I wish I had or would have liked to do or have as a child.

So you be the judge. Are you guilty of being an over compensator? Do you think it's over compensating. For example, How many times do I need to take my child to the Circus. Every year when they come in town. Really? It's like because you may missed out on so much as a child and you enjoy it, you just take your child along for the ride and take it to a whole new level. Do you buy gifts for your child to make up for the lack of time you are able to spend with them because the demands of a job etc. Now love is an action and you do show it by giving tangible items but you also show it by sending time with your child. getting to know them and being there for them. I think that the quantity of time will out weigh the quality of any gift any time. Of course your kids are just that kids and they need to experience all that being a child is, but I also think that some of us are still Toys R us kids! I don't want to grow up do you? Is that so bad.



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To Blessed to Be Stressed!

Hello Everyone! I know it has been a long while since I have blogged and I apologize. It just seems like there is never enough time in the day to do all the task that you want to accomplish and then when you look up days if not months have passed you by. You say oh I'll do it tomorrow and then tomorrow turns into next week and next week turns into next month and so on and so forth. Over the course of the last few months I have been super busy, trying to build my home based business and raise 3 toddlers all under the age of 3. As some of my followers who are also WAHM know that this can be a challenging task at times. The balancing act!

I have had a lot of time to reflect in the last few months even though I have been super busy. Had some ups and some downs but I still kept keeping on and we must do that. Sometimes I know we just want to have a Calgon take me away moment and just curl up in a ball and close ourselves off to the outside world. And if you have never been down that road the GOD bless you. When you are just caught up you just have to take a moment and pause and regroup. I have been home with my twins for the last 18 months and although I love them dearly I almost started to forget what the outside world was like. So I started taking them to different malls since it is so cold outside to the indoor playgrounds and let them run out all of that energy they have inside and I can get a chance to relax and meet some other mommies like me.

We mommies know we need some good girl friends that can relate to the struggles and the hardships that we go through and you also just need to get out and meet new people and network. Good girlfriends are hard to come by. I lost a very dear friend of mine last year and I just envy some of the other relationships I see around me because I am one of those people who am guarded and don't let a lot of people in but how many of us know that the word says "a man that has friends must show himself friendly." I am sure some of us have been down that road where some one says they are our friend and then you can't trust them, they let you down or they do something crazy or you have that one sided friendship where you are the one putting in all of the effort calling and catching up but how many of us know that any relationship is a two way street. They all have to be worked on and I guess it all depends on how much the other person or the parties involved treasure the relationship and friendship.

I might seem like I am all over the place in this edition but I have so much to talk about. I am not going to let it all out in this one. Trust me there will be some pretty exciting blogs coming. I just have to learn to jot things down when the ideas and the things I want to share start to come because we all know with our everyday grind we forget a lot. I had to learn these past few months that I am to Blessed to be Stressed. And you ladies out there are too. Our lives become routine where we take care of everybody else and that's all good but we MUST take some time out for ourselves.

One of the things that I am still learning to not take personally, are peoples actions. I've learned a long time ago that you have to learn to forgive, forget and move forward. Otherwise you give those people control over you. It takes to much energy to keep dwelling on something. When I started my business this is something I had to practice a lot of. People will try to keep you from accomplishing your goals, try to be dream stealers and killers or just no matter what, won't help you and support you in your endeavors and most of these are the people that are closet to you. I just don't understand it, but then when those same people are in need they forget and want you to come running to there aide. I know every one is not like this but it is a wide population of them out there. I never thought I would see the day when we as people don't want to support, uplift and encourage one another. It's just sad. I know there are some of you out there that can totally relate to what I am saying. If any of you ladies have a home based or other business out there please leave me you link or website and I will see what I can do to help to support your business. We all need each other. Like the song writer says I need you, you need me, we are all a part of Gods Body. Well until next time ladies. Be Blessed and be a Blessing! You can check me out at my link below!





www.5linx.net/TuckerTeam