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Monday, March 14, 2011

You be the Judge!

I think that two of my greatest accomplishments are being a mother and a wife. I have learned a lot in the past three years of being a mother. Although I have not been a mom long having kids has taught me so much. I'm sure you all can relate it's nothing we would not do for our children. So over the last few years I have wondered this, do we over compensate for our children or is it just making sure that your children have the best of everything?

Now As I look back over my child hood, I can't and won't complain. I think that my parents did the best that they could with that they had. So what we perceive to had had or the lack of do we make up for when raising our children. I see a lot of parents just spend and spend and spend on there kids and some do it to make up for the lack of parenting, others do it because they are reliving there lives through there children and some just can't say no.

I know these days and times we are living in are so very different from when we were growing up. Now a days its like kids have a sense of entitlement like you owe them something. Now I am a firm believer if your child is doing well they should reap the benefits and be rewarded but I do not agree in rewarding wrong behavior. So I ask myself because I am guilty of just over doing it for my children at times as well even though they are little, is it being a good parent, or over compensating for things I wish I had or would have liked to do or have as a child.

So you be the judge. Are you guilty of being an over compensator? Do you think it's over compensating. For example, How many times do I need to take my child to the Circus. Every year when they come in town. Really? It's like because you may missed out on so much as a child and you enjoy it, you just take your child along for the ride and take it to a whole new level. Do you buy gifts for your child to make up for the lack of time you are able to spend with them because the demands of a job etc. Now love is an action and you do show it by giving tangible items but you also show it by sending time with your child. getting to know them and being there for them. I think that the quantity of time will out weigh the quality of any gift any time. Of course your kids are just that kids and they need to experience all that being a child is, but I also think that some of us are still Toys R us kids! I don't want to grow up do you? Is that so bad.

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