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Monday, March 14, 2011

You be the Judge!

I think that two of my greatest accomplishments are being a mother and a wife. I have learned a lot in the past three years of being a mother. Although I have not been a mom long having kids has taught me so much. I'm sure you all can relate it's nothing we would not do for our children. So over the last few years I have wondered this, do we over compensate for our children or is it just making sure that your children have the best of everything?

Now As I look back over my child hood, I can't and won't complain. I think that my parents did the best that they could with that they had. So what we perceive to had had or the lack of do we make up for when raising our children. I see a lot of parents just spend and spend and spend on there kids and some do it to make up for the lack of parenting, others do it because they are reliving there lives through there children and some just can't say no.

I know these days and times we are living in are so very different from when we were growing up. Now a days its like kids have a sense of entitlement like you owe them something. Now I am a firm believer if your child is doing well they should reap the benefits and be rewarded but I do not agree in rewarding wrong behavior. So I ask myself because I am guilty of just over doing it for my children at times as well even though they are little, is it being a good parent, or over compensating for things I wish I had or would have liked to do or have as a child.

So you be the judge. Are you guilty of being an over compensator? Do you think it's over compensating. For example, How many times do I need to take my child to the Circus. Every year when they come in town. Really? It's like because you may missed out on so much as a child and you enjoy it, you just take your child along for the ride and take it to a whole new level. Do you buy gifts for your child to make up for the lack of time you are able to spend with them because the demands of a job etc. Now love is an action and you do show it by giving tangible items but you also show it by sending time with your child. getting to know them and being there for them. I think that the quantity of time will out weigh the quality of any gift any time. Of course your kids are just that kids and they need to experience all that being a child is, but I also think that some of us are still Toys R us kids! I don't want to grow up do you? Is that so bad.

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  1. Wow I couldn't agree more. I was terrible at spoiling mine was she was little, mostly because I just couldn't help myself. Post Partum in the begining was very hard for me,so it was as much a treat for me as it was for her. But the older she got the more the "spoiled" act came out. Everytime we went to the store "i want this" "i want that" Then the rosey glasses came off, & i don't like the greedy attitude she's forming. Now she's been told not to ask for anything until christmas, and we've worked into place an allowance for chores. She doesn't do the chores she don't get paid! When she's earned up a few bucks, 1/2 goes to the savings acct the other half she can choose something to buy. She's slowly learning realize the meaning of the almighty dollar. =)
    Btw new follower from Mom Bloggers =)

  2. Hey there! Love the blog! I agree stuff doesn't make up for love EVER! :) I am now following you! I hope that you follow me too! http://firebutterflyjewels.blogspot.com/

  3. Great blog. Following you from the MBC 200 followers. Hope you'll visit my site and follow me back. http://cherishedhandmadetreasures.blogspot.com/

  4. Great blog, saw your comment on MBC, now following! Please follow back at http://twinsboutique09.blogspot.com

  5. Great thoughts! Following you from MBC.
    Please follow me and donate to Japan.

  6. HI! I am a new follower from the Simply Follow group at MBC, so glad to have found your great blog and I look forward to checking out more. Have a wonderful weekend!


  7. I had this conversation with a friend not too long ago...about kids feeling entitled. It drives me crazy when I hear a child say "Mom, you owe me $XX for allowance last week." I think kids need to learn from an early age that money isn't free. It must be earned. I think that if a child is also asked to give a small percentage of their money to a charity that it teaches them the responsibility of taking care of others and service.

  8. Following from MBC 200 Followers group. Have a great day. :-)

  9. Growing up, my parents gave us pretty much everything we wanted. I wouldn't say we were spoiled because these items were not always brand new or top of the line but we never went without.

    Now that I have 3 kids of my own, I try to instill the value of money and working hard for what you get but they do have pretty much all the latest things.

    Of course, it doesn't help that I'm a product reviewer and the FedEx guy is at my home almost everyday delivering toys, videos, and games! LOL!

    Aloha - Kailani

  10. stopping by from MBC
    new follower


  11. We are struggling with the downsize of stuff for our kids ... they definitely have more than I had. Some is our fault, but also a lot more people give them stuff too.

    New to following you from MBC!

  12. Wow, this is a very thoughtful post and I enjoyed it so much. Great job! I'm your newest follower from MBC, hope you can swing my and return the favor! Looking forward to more!! http://www.mammatown.blogspot.com

  13. Great post! Btw I am stopping by from MBC, I hope you follow me back!

  14. I surely don't want to grow up I'm a Toys R' US kid myself....I keep having to fight buying a crayon melter for myself, not my one year old....I was kind of spoiled so I do the opposite sometimes, but every now and then its good to go a little overboard...toys today are so wonderful....as far as the circus goes, those are memories that will last a lifetime as long as you teach your child the value of a dollar, and that they will not always get everything that they want and go everywhere that they want to, you on on the road to being a POWER MOM...

    Najeema from MBC here....Check out my blog at www.iamcurlylocks.blogspot.com

    Peace and Love,

    Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks

  15. Following from MBC 200 Followers group. Have a great day. come return the follow.

  16. Following from MBC. Have a fabulous day! :)

  17. Hi there! I followed you through MBC just about 3 weeks ago, LOVE your blog! Wondering if you could swing by and return the follow? Have a great day and I look forward to more posts!