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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Demands, Frustrations & Guilt of a Working Mommy

There are some things we don’t get to do over in life and one of them is being a parent. If you decide to be a stay at home mom or a working mom is all a personal choice. These days society has made it that you cannot survive if you have a family off a one person income which thus leaves you to put you child in daycare, get a nanny etc and let some one else fill the gap and help raise you child. And that to can be expensive. The question sometimes is can we trust these people that watch and take care of our children? Besides no one can care for our children the way we can. That’s where the frustration comes in. You want to be at home with your child but at the same time you need to money to take care of them. So what do you do? How did they do it back in the day with all those kids and so few resources? Well most of them trusted God to be there provider. He is the source and everything else is a resource. So why can’t we trust it now? Everything is expensive and bottom line we always want bigger, better MORE.

There are a lot of demands on a working mom besides we are the home makers. Our ole was to be home centered first but some how we got off of that. Yes you can have a family and a job and be every woman but you should not give more to your job than you give to your home bottom line. Something always seems to lack and unfortunately its normally home. A job can come and go but your family, and kids will always be there. You go to work, your second job and then come home and then go to your first job and really when you are at work you still are on your first job because being a mom is a 24 hour job. Will they call you and tell you your child is sick, you call and make appointments, you do everything because this child is depending on your for everything. So the demand of home is high, the demand of your job is high, now you getting frustrated. You are snappy at your husband, you become short tempered, and then you ask, when am I going to have time for myself? This becomes one of those Calgon take me away moments. So what do you do? Lets evaluate this.

You will never be that snappy to your boss so why do it to the one you say you love, the closet one to you, your mate and bring all that negativity into your home? Then the negative vibes ware off on your kids and you snap at them and pop them because your patience is just gone. Forget they are on your last nerves, you have no nerves any more. Men will never understand the demands and challenges of being a mom and why because they were not made to fulfill that role which is the same reason why they were not made to carry the children. Were you ever amazed at how we can easily just transition into the role of being a mother? The making bottles, caring for them, making sure they have everything they need, being the chauffer, the on all nurse, the everything, and the joy just comes in when you get that smile form your child or that pat on the leg and they say momma, the hugs or just a laugh uncontrollably when you play with them or chase them. That’s where the guilt comes in. You are so tired from work that you miss out on a lot of this because you don’t have the energy to now come home and play and do homework and cook dinner and get ready to do the same thing tomorrow. You already feel bad you have to go back to work and let some one else raise them and have those moments. You miss the first walk, the fall downs and having some one else tell them its going to be ok and kiss the boo boo and make it feel better. All moments we cannot get back and all moments we think about while we are at work staring at a picture of them or just thinking about what they are doing. And then we wonder how they grow up so fast. Because we missed most of it being at work trying to provide for needs and some greeds and you try to sneak in a sick or a slick day every now and then to try and make up time but once its gone you can never get it back.

So you decide what’s best for you. Only you can make that decision. Will your comforts lack or things just be a little tighter because you decide to stay at home with your child or will you miss out on those little moments because we are always at work. No one can make that decision for you. Or you may be one of the blessed few who can have the best of both worlds both at home working and taking care of your kids. I have been on both sides and eventually you will have to make a choice. I have already made mine. Things will just get a little tighter and maybe God will show me favor and let me have the best of both worlds but until then, my family is my everything and they will always be first. Which one will you choose?

1 comment:

  1. Interesting topic. Unfortunately, this is where I am right now and honestly, I haven't been able to be so firm on a decision. I'd love to be at home with my daughter, but financially, we're not in a position that we could go to one income. This is something that I've recently started praying over. I hate that I'm missing so much. I feel like my daughter turned 1 over night and now I go to sleep and wake up and I've lost another 3 months! It's sad that I feel I miss so much even with my somewhat abbreviated schedule.